Awkward Urination: A Tea Drinker's Dillema

This morning, I have consumed upwards of three full cups of Twinnings. Thank you to my office for providing me with free tea.

Here is the problem with the gratis Earl Grey:
I am totally going to need to use the restroom within the next hour. I am absolutely sure of it.

Here is why that is a problem:
I already went in the bathroom for, like, half an hour this morning to take a classy floor nap. I was nodding off at my computer and didn’t want to get busted, so I chugged some caffeine (hence the tons o’ Twinnings) and using my scarf as a blanket, propped myself between the sink and the wall to sleep — surprisingly comfortably — until the caffeine kicked in.

If I go again, it’s going to be like this episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm that I watched the other day. It involved Tia Carrera, Larry’s bathroom habits, and awkwardness. Everyone in my office is now Tia Carrera, and they are all about to think I have a digestive disorder.

Awesome.

I’m gonna go the bathroom now.