My comedically-oversized and absurdly diamonique-encrusted Obama watch is so girthy and stiff—yes, I chose those words on purpose—that it is effectively splinting my wrist. This makes me look like either British royalty or a three-year-old child every time I try to wave at someone. It also makes it difficult to type, lift things, or generally move. Yes, the watch is quickly ruining my life, but I suck it up so I may continue to experience the fun of constantly forcing people to ask me what time it is.
My response, "Aaaah, let me see. Oh that's right, it's TIME FO' CHANGE!!!"
(Dramatically points to watch.)
**BLING!**
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