Two things you probably already know if you are one of the people I irritate with nonsense text messages all the time:
Thing 1) Last night I ate a whole brick of cheese. It was LEGEN… wait for it… wait for it… DAIRY!
Thing 2) This afternoon, I walked into the lunchroom at work. Masked by a draped paper towel that simply read, “FREE” in blue Sharpie, an unidentifiable object sat in the middle of the counter. The room was full of people, and yet nobody seemed the least bit interested in this object.
“But it’s free!” I thought, “It’s a free thing just sitting there, asking to be taken. Who doesn’t want a free thing? What is WRONG with these people?”
I walked over and lifted the paper towel. The free thing was a VHS copy of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves with Kevin Costner. It is mine now.
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IN REGARDS TO EATING A WHOLE BRICK OF CHEESE:
ReplyDeleteI happened to watch an episode of Scrubs where Turk was doing such a thing. I don't know where one gets a large brick of cheese anymore. Kraft used to make bricks of American cheese that my father loved to eat. He's been on a hunt since 1995 trying to find some and surprisingly the internet hasn't been much help.
Have you been buying it all for yourself? If you have, good job.